“Okay.  This is the bullshit.  What do you have to say for yourself?”
…

“You see, the reason this computer isn’t working now is because all of a sudden, for no good reason, you have stopped generating five volts of standby current.  You were working two hours ago when the hard drive was replaced.  30 minutes ago when the COM port was replaced.  Five minutes ago when the RAM was upgraded. WTF!

…

“Come on, don’t make this any harder than it has to be.  You know, if you hadn’t decided to stop working we wouldn’t be going down this road, now would we?  I mean honestly, your job isn’t even that hard, it’s not like you have to actually compute anything.  You see this CPU here?  Look at that.  He’s still working, and he’s the same age as you.  Now get off your ass and work!”

…

“Oh, what, you don’t understand English, is that it?  Hello!  You no worky-worky!  Hello! Nǐ wù yùn zuò!”

…

“Well fine, be that way.  See if I care.  If you don’t want to do your job I’m just going to grab one of your relations off of this shelf over here — see, see!! — and he’s going to your job for you!  See this screwdriver?  Don’t think I won’t!”

…

“How do you like me now, huh?  See that?  That’s your cousin in there where you used to be, eh?  He doesn’t stink like a restaurant like you do.  He’s got more Molex connectors than you.  He’s 100 watts larger.  Oh, and he WORKS!

“Well, you had your chance, so now it’s time we’ve all been waiting for — The Recycle Bin!”

Hunk of shit!
In the bin!
Hunk of shit!
In the bin!
Hunk of shit!
In the bin!
Muhahahaha! yeeeee!

…

I think I really need to take a break from this particular computer.  Talking to its parts?  That can’t be a good sign.  :\